If you ever read this, watch "strangers again" by wongfu production. If you're hoping to see me dying w/o then nope.. Recalling our memories make me happy, but not when reality kicks in and i realise EVERYTHING was a lie. What are promises? I won't believe in that shit anymore. Took me so long to open up to you.. N with all those promises i finally did. I believed. I hoped. I loved. Ite you still left. You made me promise that i would wait for you.. But in the end you were the one who gave up on us. Just when i trusted that things would get better.. That i realised you were lying all this while. Okay idw to talk about you because the sad truth is that you are no longer a part of my life.. And fuck whenever people talk about it i just break down.. So enough. Enough of all that torment.
Back to my friends, whom i realised have never left me..
I'm thankful for you, who has been by my side since day 1. You understand me when i don't even understand myself anymore.. You tolerate all my breakdowns and never complained nor left me.. I cannot even explain how thankful i am because you made me feel protected and although i'm sorry because i can't completely believe anyone when they say they will always be here.. I'm scared. But i know that at this point in time, you are here and that is sufficient as i couldn't ask for more. Never once did any guy volunteer to walk me home since i live so far.. Never once did any guy said i'm more important because you said i am family :") all these i never reciprocrate but i keep them in my heart :)
I couldn't face you today because my eyes were swollen.. I couldn't look at you because i didn't want you to know. I don't want to seem like i miss you because you'll probably just say i'm being selfish again.. Just know that no matter how pissed and disappointed i am.. I will always care.
My dear em gave me a deadline of wednesday to pick myself up. I will not disappoint you all. I won't forget you.. Even if everything that reminds me of you disappears. Because you made me feel special. Even though it was all a lie.. And it fucking hurts but i will never forget how you once made me feel. I will keep you in my heart, because you once said you'll be very sad if i move on to other guys.. I don't know if you even meant it but yes i shall just believe that you did. I don't know why am i doing this, or why do i even feel so much for you even though so many things happened. I know we're strangers and you have no longer anything to do with me but.. I still love you. Sadly.. To you, my love wasn't love. It was selfishness, after so much we've been through together.. It still wasn't love to you.
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